His end game sons of los.., p.1
His End Game : Sons of Lost Souls MC - Book Twelve, page 1
His End Game
#12 in the Sons of Lost Souls MC series
Ellie R Hunter
Contents
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Epilogue
Prologue
Her whimpers are worse than her screams. They sneak through the walls and latch onto me like ice creeping up the windowpane on a cold morning. Every night, I lie in my bed and wait. Her terrors come on a nightly basis and always near three a.m.
It’s her witching hour, so to speak, and if there were such things as spells, I’d weave one for her to cover her with peace. I doubt she’s slept through the night since her ordeal.
I manage to get my head down just before midnight and I wake from my own nightmare just before two. Holly has her nightly routines and I have mine. From around two to four, I succumb to the silence of the night, replaying my nightmares and my memories of India. After Holly’s whimpers turn to screams, I go soothe her and return to my room by four. Most of the time I can fall back asleep, and I’ve come to realise it’s because my head is full of Holly’s pain and fear and not my own. Rayna wakes around seven and then the day begins, and our routines continue.
It's the hour with Holly in the middle of the night that’s as real as my blood rushing through me, but at the same time, it’s not. It’s the only time that passes where I’m not stuck in my head. Most of the time, nothing is said between us. She needs someone there to hold her down and pull her from the nightmare lingering around her, and it gives me the excuse not to lie in bed, trapped in my own head, allowing violence and death to consume me.
Throwing the sheets off of me, I climb out of bed and cross the room to open the window. Lighting a cigarette, I lean out and exhale a long stream of smoke out into the night’s air.
India would’ve woken to the smoky scent and would’ve been on me to quit the deathly habit. I spent weeks after her death at this window, smoking, looking over my shoulder to see her curled up in the middle of the bed, only to find it empty and the sharp pain of her absence would hit me full force all over again.
The clock ticks over to two-fifty-eight and the whimpers begin. A chill runs up my spine and I take one last drag of the cigarette and flick the butt out front. Closing the window, I pick up my pace when her whimpers grow into gut-wrenching sobs. As I always do, I quickly check on Rayna, making sure she’s still asleep and, as usual, she is. For all of the screams and cries, Rayna is never disturbed by them. Sometimes I wonder if in her little life she has become used to grief. I hope not. It'll only add to the reasons guilt consumes me.
Opening Holly’s door, I hear a strangled cry escape her as she thrashes around on the bed, tangled in her sheets. Each night I come to soothe her, I’ve always found her with her hands clutched to her chest. I cross the room and the mattress sinks under my weight as I lean on the bed and take hold of her hands.
“Holly,” I coax softly, trying to wake her.
Somehow, we go from me holding onto her hands to her grappling onto mine. If she had nails, they’d certainly dig into my skin.
“Holly!” I bark, my tone sharp and loud.
She comes to with a jolt and her eyes fly open. Like every night, she fixates on me till she catches her breath, and it registers she’s now awake.
“Leo?”
“Yeah, I’m here. You’re safe. It’s over.”
Her shoulders sag as she sobs, “They always burn.” I flip her hands in mine and squeeze them lightly. As always, they’re sheathed in her gloves.
“Let me get you a glass of water.”
I’m never sure if she notices me leaving the room when I get her the water each night. After the trip down to the kitchen, I grab my pack of cigarettes on the way back up to her room.
She’s sitting in the middle of the bed, her knees tucked up to her chest and her arms wrapped around herself. It takes her a moment to unwind herself and take the glass.
I stand at her window, and with no light out the back of the property, it’s hard to see farther than the patio underneath.
Opening her window, it’s almost déjà vu from less than an hour ago. I light a cigarette and tonight’s silence isn’t going to work for me.
I ask her, “Do you feel safe here?”
Looking over my shoulder, I see her nod, but it does nothing to make me feel like I’m doing at least something right.
“What happened to you will most likely stay with you forever. No one can take it away, no matter how hard they try. But there will come a day where you’ll learn to live with it and that will bring you peace.”
“How do you know this?” Her voice cracks and I inhale deeply on the cigarette.
“I’ve seen and heard it time and time again. My mom was taken a few years before I was born by a piece of scum who liked to torture and hang his victims. He beat her till she was unrecognisable. By the time my dad got to her, she had a rope around her neck, and he saw the prick kick out the box beneath her. He had less than a minute to save her from swinging. She suffered from nightmares for a long time afterward, but eventually she found peace.”
“I’ve seen your mom around a few times. It’s hard to believe she went through something like that.” Her voice is timid, and I have to strain to hear her.
“She had my dad and the club to help her through. But something like that is personal, and that’s why I told you about it. So you know that time does help.”
She shakes her head, and goes to say, “I don’t—”
“Not just my mom. You’ve met JJ?” She nods. “His mom was treated worse than an abused puppy before she came to the club. Her back and stomach are covered in scars. She was beaten and raped so regularly, she became used to it. But events led her to the club, and she found her peace. She’s been happy for over the last two decades.”
Inhaling deeply on the cigarette, I hold it down until it burns and exhale long and heavy.
“Sometimes peace isn’t achievable.”
I get it. Peace isn’t something I believe in anymore and yet, it’s easy to spew about it to Holly.
“I should never have gotten involved with Tal.” She sighs.
“Regret festers. It swallows you whole until you’re not the same person anymore. It will eat you up and rarely ever spit you out.”
Flicking the cigarette across the backyard, I close the window and slide down the wall, facing her.
“What do you know about regret?” she asks.
Wringing my hands together, I tell her, “The night India went into labour with Rayna, I was at the club. On my way to the hospital, we were held up by a rival club over bullshit. There was no way I was missing the birth of my kid and impulsively and recklessly, I shot the guy in the head. He was dead before he hit the ground. The rest of his men scattered, and I got to the hospital. My actions that night festered for a while and then his brother came seeking revenge. Because of what I did, because I didn’t think it through, a lot of people got hurt and my sister was used and abused. One night, he got into the club and managed to overpower my brothers and held them hostage. My fiancée was one of them. I was under strict instructions to wait to execute my dad’s plan, but I didn’t. With my sister, we went and gave ourselves up to him, which is what he wanted. I thought if he had me, then he would let her go. Instead, he made me watch as he shot her in the head. So, I know about regret. I’m fuckin’ riddled with it. I spend every day and every night going over everything I should’ve done differently.”
Though it’s real in this moment and usually I can’t even whisper her name; in the dark, with Holly’s pain enveloping me, it also feels like a dream, and I can’t stop myself.
“Maybe one day our regret and pain will be shadowed by peace and eventually fade away to happiness.”
Speaking about it is so much easier than believing it to be possible.
“Do you hope for such things?” I ask her.
“It’s not possible for me now.” She looks at me and adds, “What about you?”
“Hope is dangerous. Regret is safe. What you know is safe.”
With regret, nothing changes. With hope, it changes according to whatever is going on at the time. I hoped to be married and living to provide for my family by now. We didn’t even get far along enough to get married and start our lives together.
I won’t ever make the same mistake again. I’ll protect my daughter and give her everything she wants and needs, but when it comes to love, I can’t do it.
Love is all good till you lose it and then it’s the worst pain imaginable. I’m barely surviving now. To love again and lose it again, I wouldn’t survive. Even if I live a long life, my love for India will always be enough to carr
Chapter One
Leo
Sharp white light assault my eyes and I squeeze them shut to block out the intrusive annoyance. Pressure on my hand builds and I open my eyes to find my mom hovering at my side, squeezing my hand, tears in her eyes and a huge smile on her face. Luca steps up and his mouth moves, but I don’t catch what comes out of it. I’m in the hospital, that much I can work out for myself.
I was shot.
Yes, that’s right. I was at the club, went outside with Dad, and some fucker shot me in the back.
“Leo?”
Looking at my mom, I try to concentrate, but the soft glow coming from the fireplace in the cabin flashes before me. India. I was with her… wasn’t I?
“Hey, brother, nice to see you didn’t die.”
Yeah, fucking nice.
“Luca, go find your dad and let him know he’s awake, and find a nurse,” I hear Mom instruct.
She fusses with the hair around my face, but I don’t have the energy to shoo her away.
“Rayna?” I croak.
“She’s with Holly back at the club. Do you remember what happened?”
Nodding, I don’t get the chance to answer when a nurse bustles through the door. She checks me over and I lay there, trying to put my memories of India into focus. She was in my arms. I could feel her, every inch of her soft, supple body. We were at home, and I felt at peace once again. The peace that’s now ebbing away like the tide leaving the shore.
“I’ll let the doctor know you’re back with us,” the nurse says, but I’m not listening.
As she leaves, Dad walks in and the relief washing over him hits me like a baseball bat.
“I got shot.”
I’m not sure why I blurt that out. He stops at the side of my bed and leans over and kisses my forehead.
“Yeah, you did and I’ve gotta say, you’re taking your sweet time getting back on your feet.”
I’d laugh if it didn’t hurt to, and Mom shoves him in the arm. Through his messing, I see the gut-wrenching worry buried deep in his eyes.
Maybe it’s because I came close to dying, and I’m seeing shit differently, but my dad is looking older. The lines around his eyes are deepening and the greys have come in thick around his ears.
Looking at my mom, I say, “I wanna see Rayna. Can you get her here?”
“Sure.”
With a kiss to my forehead, and a stark warning to Dad and Luca not to wear me out, she grabs her purse and leaves.
Dad pulls up a chair and Luca takes Mom’s seat. The fucker kicks his boots up on the edge of my bed and only because I don’t have the energy to shove him off, I leave it.
“So, you planning on lying on your back all day?”
I snort. “Your concern is overwhelming.”
Ignoring my brother, I look at Dad and ask, “What happened after I went down?”
“JJ and the others shot the fuck outta of the Dead Rat president. He’s no longer a problem to anyone.”
The fucker wouldn’t have had anyone to escape to after letting off the first shot. It was a suicide mission, and he would’ve known it. His club was destroyed after the Haywards blew it sky high. He was lucky to be the only survivor.
“How long have I been out?”
The Haywards’ seven-day order comes flooding back to me. Jamie Boy made himself clear he wanted her dead within the week.
“Four days.”
“That leaves us three days to take down Effie.”
Luca takes his boots off the bed and leans forward, his arms resting on his thighs.
“With you taking your time getting your shit together, three days won’t be enough,” my brother informs me sarcastically.
“No shit.”
“Seven days was never going to be enough time,” Dad says, adding, “I’ll let Jamie Boy know we’ll do it, but it’ll be in our own time.”
Focusing on Effie’s death will help me on the road to recovery. Shit, the thought of her taking her last breath is already making me feel better.
Dad says something to Luca about sending a couple of brothers to Dog City to see if they can gain more information, but my eyelids grow too heavy, and I close them… just for a minute.
Only when I open them, the sun is setting, and Dad and Luca are nowhere in sight. The door opens and my little girl bounces into the room, followed by Mom and Holly.
“Daddy!”
“Hey, sweetheart,” I croak out as she tries to climb up the side of the bed.
“Rayna, remember what I said. You’ve got to be careful,” Holly warns her with her soft voice.
She’s looking tired, but I don’t care to linger on her as she lifts Rayna in her arms and sits her on the edge of the bed.
“I missed you, Daddy,” Rayna tells me, and it takes an effort to lift my hand and squeeze hers.
“I’ve missed you too.” Looking at Holly, I ask, “Where does she think I’ve been?”
“Nowhere in particular. We just kept telling her you’d be back soon and we’re not making a big deal about you being here now that she knows. I don’t think she understands, but she’s been missing you.”
Smiling, I give my full attention to my daughter. She looks so much like her mom—her dark hair having grown down past her shoulders and her dark eyes always shining when she’s happy. India by the fireplace back at the cabin flashes through my mind and I swallow thickly. As fast as it appears, it fades just as quick, and I look to Holly again as she asks, “So… um… how are you doing?”
“Some pain, but it’s not as bad as you think. How are you doing?”
“I’m fine.”
Those two words grate on me like nothing else ever could. I’m not sure she even knows how robotic she sounds when she says them. From the day I brought her to the cabin and introduced her to Rayna, whenever I ask her how she is, it’s always fine. Even when she’s covered in sweat from one of her nightmares. The only time I believe it is when she’s with my daughter. Rayna’s innocence and purity soothe her, and I like that for her.
Mom returns with coffees for her and Holly and a juice box for Rayna.
Holly settles down on one of the chairs while Mom takes over, making sure Rayna doesn’t disturb any of the wires or climbs on me. Right at this moment, after nearly dying, I don’t care. I’m in the hospital so it’s not like the doctors can’t come in and fix what she disturbs.
Time flies by and Rayna begins to yawn. “I think that’s our cue to leave,” Mom says, grabbing her purse. “I’m going to go to the bathroom before we leave. I’ll meet you by the elevator?”
Holly nods and reaches for Rayna’s jacket from the bottom of the bed.
“And you, get some rest. I’ll be back in the morning,” she tells me before leaving.
“Ray-Ray, say goodnight to Daddy. He’s got to go to sleep now, and we have to go home.”
My little girl’s face falls and before she can play up for Holly, I say to her, “If you let Holly put your jacket on, she’ll get you some ice cream.”
It works like a charm, and I watch as they prepare to leave, half-relieved I can fall asleep without feeling guilty for missing time with her, and half-dreading it because I hate having her out of my sight. I never realised how much a father’s love can change a man. When she took her first breath, the shift in my heart was unlike anything I felt before and without knowing how I knew, I knew it would never be as it was.
“I’ll bring her by tomorrow.”
Holly slips a phone out of her pocket and places it on the unit beside my bed.
“I thought you’d want it. Perhaps you could call to say goodnight to her. She doesn’t like going to sleep without hearing from you. It’s been a nightmare the last few nights.”
“Sure.”
Rayna places a kiss on my cheek, and I haphazardly hug her in return before Holly collects her in her arms and pulls her away.
